Kwasi, a 3-year-old boy from Haworth, sat in a barber’s chair fiddling with a hair trimmer as Roe Del Plato began what for many children would be the wearisome experience of having their hair cut.
But for Kwasi, who is autistic, the process is all the more distressing.
“He’ll cry, he’ll buck. He’ll try to get out of the chair,” said Kwasi’s father, Folu, who admitted it’s anyone’s guess how much of his son’s recalcitrance is due to his condition or his age.
No toddler is best-behaved during a haircut, but not many parents drive 40 minutes for a simple trim. Due to Kwasi’s condition, the two have regularly made the drive to Nutley, where Billy Dinnerstein runs Your Kind of Cuts, a barbershop that caters to children and adults with sensory issues.
For many families raising kids and adults with autism and sensory issues, everyday experiences like a haircut can feel like running an emotional gauntlet. Something as seemingly routine as sitting still under bright lights with clippers buzzing nearby can quickly turn into a traumatic event. The stakes are even higher when parents have exhausted multiple options and still come up short — until they hear about people like Dinnerstein, who offer more than a service: they offer understanding.
Odors, lighting, sounds, the feel of certain textures and other stimuli can prove overwhelming ― if not unbearable ― for 90% to 95% of patients with autism, say reports cited by Suzanne Buchanan, a psychologist and executive director of Autism New Jersey. The hyperstimulation can be “physically and emotionally draining,” says Autism Speaks, a national advocacy organization.
A barbershop “can be a lot for some people to take in or make sense of” and can “easily lead to sensory overload,” Buchanan said.
The buzz of electric clippers, the scratchy polyester robe draped around one’s body and the oppressive scents of disinfectants and hair styling products can all be triggers, she said. Even facing oneself in a mirror for an extended time can be difficult for those prone to overstimulation.
Although Dinnerstein is a board-certified barber trained under the same regulations as any cosmetologist in New Jersey, his methodology for serving his niche clientele has no basis in clinical practice, nor did he develop it through consultation with behavioral health specialists.
“Everything we do here is based on my personality,” said Dinnerstein, who stumbled into this specialty while cutting hair at another shop around the corner, where his intuitive savvy for clipping the locks of obstinate children lent itself to clients with more specific needs.
Word of his methods eventually made its way to the autism community, brimming with parents eager for such a service.
In 2020, a commercial space on Centre Street became available as the COVID-19 pandemic ravaged the cosmetology industry. Dinnerstein jumped at the chance to open his own shop with the express purpose of serving sensory-avoidant clients of all ages. However, he hardly asks for a doctor’s note. All are welcome at Your Kind of Cuts.
What makes Dinnerstein’s approach so distinct isn’t just his patience — it’s his philosophy. He understands that for some clients, even stepping into a new space can be daunting. That’s why he’s created a welcoming environment that looks more like a preschool playroom than a traditional barbershop. The space is filled with toys, puzzles, and colorful activities. Everything is intentional — from the layout to the low-pressure atmosphere — designed to help kids settle in before scissors ever come out.
It’s important to Dinnerstein that those with sensory sensitivity and their families know he tailors his practice to their needs. The shop’s logo features jigsaw puzzle pieces, a nationally recognized symbol for autism advocacy. But despite his pride in offering the niche service, he grows vexed in discussing how niche it is.
“People shouldn’t be driving three or four hours for a haircut,” he said in reference to a family that had recently traveled to his shop from Canada. “It’s a public service. It’s almost discrimination if you can’t cut” a kid’s hair.
His hope is that the state cosmetology board will require beauty schools to include curriculum for serving the autism community as a criterion for licensure.
Dinnerstein’s mission is both personal and practical. He knows what works for one child won’t necessarily work for another. Still, he’s found that trust, flexibility, and setting boundaries — even with parents — make all the difference.
The shop itself looks like a day care center as much as a haircutting establishment. Toys and activity sets fill half of the narrow space.
When a client enters, Dinnerstein allows them to beeline for the games as he consults with their parent, allowing the child to acclimate to the space and all its hustle and bustle, pleasantly immersed in their small world of play sets and toy cars.
“I’m not here to get him to like it,” Dinnerstein said as Kwasi knelt on a rubber mat, playing. “This is part of trying to gain his trust.”
When Kwasi began to cry and sit up in the chair, fighting off Del Plato’s attempts to even out his sides with a pair of trimmers, Dinnerstein stepped in and they took a break, allowing Kwasi to curiously handle the clippers that terrorized him just seconds before.
Dinnerstein’s devotion to that concept presents itself in a quintessentially Jersey-bred attitude of “my way or the highway.” He will not take requests for a specific style if the client cannot handle what it would take to shape the look.
Nor does he permit distracting the client with an iPad or video game: “We’re trying to make sure it gets easier every time.”
All parents submit to a consultation with Dinnerstein, during which he asks everyone the same three questions before he agrees to take the client.
First, he asks how far the family traveled to seek his services, which tells him how desperate they are for a barber who can work with their child’s condition.
Then he asks about the client’s previous haircut, gaining clues to the child’s triggers and any traumas that may linger from previous experiences with a barber: “I need to find out where the tension is; a lot of the tension that comes through here is self-inflicted,” he said, referring to parents and barbers who have simply held clients down and forced them to endure the discomfort.
Last, he asks “What can I do for you today?” That question, Dinnerstein said, lets him understand the parents’ expectations. From there, he can decide whether he’s capable of working with the child — or, more important, whether the parents are capable of working with him.
In the four years Dinnerstein has run Your Kind of Cuts, only four children have left his shop without a haircut, and each time it was due to the parents, he said.
“First and foremost I’m a pragmatist,” Buchanan, of Autism New Jersey, said on the subject of Dinnerstein’s inflexible dogma. “If his generally autism-friendly accommodations are getting the job done and the individual is happy and relaxed, I don’t have any problem with that.”
However, Buchanan understands that the approach may not work for everyone on the spectrum, and some may need a cooperative method that includes the parents, the barber and a licensed clinician working together. “The name of the game in autism is that everything needs to be individualized,” she said.
Though he risks the occasional brusque exchange in order to maintain the courage of his convictions, Dinnerstein is hardly without a bedside manner. When Kwasi’s trim was complete, the boy was allowed to toddle back to the toys, seeming to have forgotten the ordeal upon its conclusion.
In a simple ruse, Dinnerstein shut the lights of the shop and told Kwasi it was time to close for lunch, knowing the toddler would hardly question the fact that Del Plato was still visibly in the midst of another haircut.
Folu took his son by the hand as Dinnerstein gently shepherded the child out of the shop, promising he could come back again.
“I want to come back,” Kwasi said. Not pleading. Not through tears. It was a simple agreement between a boy and his barber to see each other again.
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